Addendum

We create our space, how we chose to allow others to exist in it and sometimes exit out of it. Through experiences other choices are left to be made and this is our individual path. There is both beauty and risk in believing in people and for so many I have believed in {and who have believed in me!}, I am thankful. With simultaneous losses + gains, decision making can become cloudy.  I have told myself + others when having a temultuous season — Make one huge decision that evokes change and all decisions thereafter will encompass that choice. — In my case, {along with a pretty phenomenal 8-yr old boy} it was to move my wonderful + fulfilling career from the Midwest to a warm , cozy, city space on the east coast with hopes {and faith} that my presence within this print + production community will be welcome. Philadelphia.

{family first} {distribution into the world}

Raising quality human beings: My daughter, currently a 1st year freshmen at Indiana University – Bloomington and my oldest son in Virginia where I can now visit him with more frequency, and my sweetest little guy with me, I feel good about who they are  and mostly  how they are. Allowing myself  to go freelance {rogue}became an added bonus to my overall person. But I could not have done this without their patience and love for me. [We are aware of our one life.]  How I spend my time should be fulfilling and should feel rewarding. { OR I join the Peace Corps and give some greatness to a culture that is elsewhere.}  I knew my children would watch me succeed and / or fail + am fairly certain they watched me do equal amounts of both, we survived! Being their mother and being a loyal friend has and will always supersede kat makeup art. {For them} it was no surprise when I told them we were moving east. It has ALWAYS been the plan. They know why I waited.

Speaking to the loss of my humble, wise, capable, intelligent, respectable father who loved to experience. Through his continued influence, endurance in life, support, and love, I am here. My father and my children have been my greatest teachers. Watching them evolve can only signify that we are all on a path of  development. We can not grow if there is only constant. Children grow up and move away, we lose people we adore and admire, some through death and others through circumstance. It should be our gift to self to continue to grow +  pay close attention to when it is time to do so.

{unknown}

I can not find fear in the unknown. The enormity of my decision to move hit a few days after being here. I was fortunate to work shows for New York Fashion Week SS 2012 but other than that I had no jobs booked.  LEAVING STABILITY IS HARD IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. Making direct contact, introductions via other amazing people here, or sitting across from an unexpected, but exceptional stranger on a train to Manhattan have made my time + interactions among the  many fabulous people  I have met  wholly sweet. Wonderful can only to occur as there is no room for anything else.  I have a tiny team of support! I have a teeny tiny apartment! I have a Zip Car! My wardrobe is the smallest it has ever been! Dominik is happy to have more of me. Time is more vast and we are more simple. All good things.

There was anticipation of similar loyalty to exist here that existed for me in my region that I fully respect.. Being at the bottom of the call list is where I started in Indianapolis when all I wanted was to be on the call list. Order is irrelevant. I know I have my work cut out for me and I am excited!

— All I can do is try — It is all we can all do. Approaching life with good intent and teaching ourselves to respond with as much goodness as possible can only lead to good things. Even when people do not respond to my emails or if I am shut down, all I can do is try. Nothing changes by someone telling me “no”, or not responding ..  but if they say “yes”… who knows? Hopefully incredible things will happen. Respond with goodness and sometimes that means not responding at all. Clear up space where we can focus on the things we DO want and not the things we do not.

Many people have asked  - Why the move? – What prompted this? – etc .. Hopefully this better summarizes my choice. I wish it could be more interesting than simply, it was time {for me} to try something new!!